Becoming a coach: me and Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme

Becoming a coach: me and Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme

Becoming a coach: me and Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme

I’ve got a permanent sugar rush of thoughts and feelings about coaching and training. I’m like Monsieur Jourdain in Moliere’s ‘Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme’, who discovered that, all his life, he had been speaking prose without knowing it.

Fifteen months ago, I started a serious executive coaching programme. Two days ago, I attended a final assessment day. Soon I will find out whether or not I have met the standard.

To get to the assessment day, I had to notch up one induction day, four residential training modules, four tutorials, dozens of practice coaching sessions, much reading of coaching texts and articles, four required learning logs, two unplanned blogs, and one theoretical essay. Having gone through all of that, it’s no wonder I am having a rush of thoughts and feelings about learning and coaching.

What lies beneath my training approach

I’ve made a connection between Gestalt based coaching and my approach to delivering leadership training. Like Monsieur Jourdain, I have discovered that, all my life, I have been using Gestalt methodology to underpin my training courses, without knowing it.

Instinctively, I design training programmes as participative learning journeys. I  encourage learners to:

  • listen and observe
  • notice what they are thinking and feeling
  • gather and make sense of data
  • keep an open mind, and
  • work together to make sense of challenges and dilemmas.

From a Gestalt coaching perspective, this is about being and learning in the moment, and noticing patterns and connections. It’s about raising awareness of real needs, and mobilising energy towards appropriate action.

I’m still processing what I have learned. I can’t wait to review my training practice through a Gestalt lens. Meanwhile, here is the ‘before’ and ‘after’ of my approach to coaching.

How I coached before the course How I coach now
Took responsibility for solving the client’s dilemmas and problems I work in partnership with the client
Analysed what the client was telling me Observe, reflect, summarise
Tried very hard to be nice Not afraid to challenge appropriately
Asked lots of unhelpful (dissonant) questions Comfortable with silence
Talked about my experiences Appropriately disclose if the client is interested in hearing about my experience
Believed I must have the answers Not afraid to say ‘I don’t know what to do with this’
Pushed the client into action Create space for the client to discover what they want to do
Made assumptions about what the client was telling me Form working hypotheses AND keep an open mind
Thought ahead constantly which affected my ability to be present Stay fully present with the client
Relied on listening and questioning Invite the client to experiment Gestalt and Cognitive Behavioural methodologies
Felt awkward contracting and closing Am more confident when contracting and helping client to identify what they have learned

It’s been quite a journey. I really must apologise to all my friends who volunteered to be coached by me, when I didn’t know what I know now.

6 responses to “Becoming a coach: me and Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme”

  1. Pilar Braz says:

    Edward, congratulations and muito obrigada for sharing! what you brought for the programme besides your intuitive “gestalt approach”, that finally had already been in you for awhile, was an amazing presence, very unique, charming, respectful and warmth! I enjoyed and learned a lot from you, my dear! I will love to learn more from you as your journey unfolds…

    • Edwardk says:

      Hi Pilar, thank you for your very kind words. If it were not for you, I would never have had the chance to go on the programme in the first place! I expect I will be blogging more about coaching and training so watch this space…

  2. Mane says:

    Thanks for sharing this Edward! I have a deep interest on this topic, and I hope you’ll keep sharing and posting! Can you let me know the name of the place where you took the coaching programme?

  3. Mane says:

    This is Marianella, btw 😉

  4. Edwardk says:

    Hi Marianella! Great to see you here. It’s the Academy of Executive Coaching (AoEC). We had some great tutors – and as you can see – the learning is still going on…very happy to have a chat about it with you. Hope you are well, Best Edward

  5. edwardkellow says:

    Thank you very much. I’m still learning how to do this!

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